Do you forgive easily or do you hold a grudge for a long time?
Do you see people as inherently good or bad?
If you forgive easily and see people and the world as inherently good, then you are more likely to feel happy, peaceful and have more pleasant things happen to you.
If you see the world as unsafe and hold on to grudges, you are more likely to feel distressed, angry, betrayed and hurt.
That's because our mind-set determines our reality. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we hold grudges, we stay being a victim to the person we are angry at.
Like the saying goes - anger, hatred, resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. When we hold on to anger, hatred, resentment, we ruin our peace, happiness and wellbeing. Forgiveness is not about saying what you did is ok. It is about setting ourselves free so that we can live in peace.
Forgiveness is a process. Before we can forgive, we might need to express how we feel, be in touch with our pain, sadness, grief, and then we are in a position to forgive.